he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
