They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize