went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
