Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
