Non-Jews are for practice
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
