did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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