you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
