haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
