my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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