why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize
