My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
