So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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