Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
