hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
