This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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