Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize