Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
