Dude my mom stole all your condoms
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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