Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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