life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
