There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize