two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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