omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
