Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
