I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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