Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Randomize
