i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
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you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
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I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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