i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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