i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
