i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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