dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize