He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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