I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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