I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
