So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
This toilet bowl is my home.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
