If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
