She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
