i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
