yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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