She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
