Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
