tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
