you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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