Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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