ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
