That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
