Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I need water and some morals
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
