Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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