I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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