drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
how drunk are you?
Several
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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