If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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