butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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