I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
