do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
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Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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