I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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