I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
